Concept sketch for London show doll

This is a part of a concept sketch for her tattoo.

And this is a side view of the wig model.

I'm assembling the final pieces of the project today and hoping to finish shooting by Friday or Saturday. The carving of the wig and preparing it for molding took almost an entire week on non-interrupted work. It was hard on the eyes. On day five, around 10 in the evening my vision began to blur so much, that I could no longer see the texture properly. It's like, my body just said: "Ok, enough. You're crazy and I've had it. Efff this." So, I took a day off and drank a bottle of wine while watching Lord of the Rings again. And then R.E.D. Again. What a fun movie.

Anyway. Completion of Twenty To Midnight is pending. Then, the 2011 rules for the upcoming, annual Birthday Contest.

Upcoming Exhibition in London

This New Year for Enchanted Doll begins with a group exhibition at the ShowStudio gallery in London UK, titled To Bed.

I'm contributing one doll to this show, which will include photography and video installations by various artists, including Andy Warhol's Sleep. I don't have the full list of participating artists yet, but I'll be posting more information about this exhibition. The show opens on January 26th.Above, is a snap shot of the new wax model for the show doll. She is in the last stages of completion, and I plan to finish her by the middle of next week. This piece, titled Twenty To Midnight is a nude, featuring a monochrome, one of a kind tattoo on her torso and thighs, the new Marie-Antoinette shoes and of course this fabulous, new ultra-limited edition head dress with one of a kind accents. I already have it cast and everything. Can't wait to show you.

I will post purchasing details next week, after I send her on her way and get some down time. In the meantime, I think I'll post a concept sketch for her tattoo in a day or two; as soon as I get around to scanning it.

For those who are not acquainted with this doll face yet, she is my wax-modeling head and not the doll which will be featured in this show. That one will be much better.

Shoes

Wax models for Marie-Antoinette and Hopscotch shoes.

I have my own little superstitions when it comes to metal projects: I don't like to show pictures of any wax models until I have my first successful cast. That way I know I have tangible results before I disclose it, but I also have this irrational belief that if I show progress shots before the end result, it might somehow jinx everything. This refers almost exclusively to metal projects though. I know it's silly, but I don't like to deviate from that.

Below is the inspiration for the Hopscotch shoes.

sulamith-wulfing_nature-spirits_snow-stars_med

This beautiful illustration was my very first exposure to Sulamith Wulfing's work in 2001. It reminds me of a Siberian Winter landscape so much. I think that the contrast of her uncharacteristically light outfit and particularly her little shoes against the coldness of the setting made a really strong impression on me. "Why is she wearing those summer shoes in the snow?"- I kept thinking as I held the book in my hands: " That's not an appropriate outfit at all. She'll die of exposure!" There is probably an evil stepmother involved in this business somehow.

It actually reminds me of one particular Russian fairy tale "The Twelve Months", where a stepdaughter gets sent to the forest in the dead of winter to pick some flowers and instructed not to return without any. In the middle of this suicide mission she meets human representations of each of the 12 months of the year and they save her, setting up further event in the story.

Anyway. Every time I look at this picture, it makes me want to drink hot chocolate and wear warm socks.

Another New Shoe Design - Hopscotch

My childhood leather sandals + Sulamith Wulfing illustrations + Japanese schoolgirl stereotype = Hopscotch.

Although, these are Sulamith Wulfing more than anything else, as the design is directly inspired by a certain illustration of hers. I'll show you later.

These are replicas of the pair my one of a kind doll Alice in Wonderland wears, except instead of leather, they are cast in bronze, plated with 24k gold and painted with synthetic enamel.

Introducing a new feature- the strap button: a simpler, yet equally elegant solution to the teeny tiny buckle. I love it.

Hopscotch Styles From left to right: Sunday Best, First Ball and September.

Experimentation with the most basic finishes and color combination. More experiments required, of course. Especially the kind where I wear gloves and laugh like an evil scientist from time to time. While working on specimens of miniature footwear. "Chad, scalpel please, quickly!..."Two styles Hopscotch and Marie-Antoinettes, both 24k gold-plated and enameled. Marie-Antoinette style features my signature, tiny buckle strap and decorative ornamentation on the front, back and heel, while Hopscotch is a simpler, less decorative style reminiscent of classical child's shoes.

My place is just crawling with dolls and their tiny shoes, amongst other doll things right now. Some of my guests find it a little strange here. Can't blame them-sometimes I find my own home quite strange. But lovely.

Any favorites? Yes, yes, I know everyone likes Macaroons.

New Metal Shoe Designs

I'm adding more designs to the Enchanted Doll line of cast metal footwear. I call this style Marie-Antoinette. These are Cast in bronze.

Marie-Antoinettes from left to right: MACAROON - 24k gold plate and synthetic enamel finish, in the middle CLASSIC BLUE - silver plate with black patina finish and on the right is WARM LAVENDER - bronze cast with satin finish.

I've been wanting to make slippers in this 17th century/Rococo style for months, but had to put it off and off and off until I just couldn't wait anymore.

Some more experiments are needed with different enamel colors and finishes, but i'm already quite infatuated with these.

I'd also like to see how they can be accessorized and which of these styles can be made available to order.

I love the enameled look, but it's quite a challenge to apply. If there is enough interest in them, they may become available for orders occasionally. I donno yet. So far, only the creative part of the shoes has been done. Sill need to figure out the logistics of orders.

I'll be announcing more information about Marie-Antoinettes, such as the price and wait-listing in a bit, meanwhile, stay tuned for more photos. And more shoes.

Yummy?

The Birth of Ruby - Wigging

In the morning, Ruby is sitting on my desk and waiting patiently for her wig. Taken by her beauty, I stop mid-stride on my way to the desk and admire her smooth, pretty profile bathed in the grey light of the studio. I'm loving the soft lines of her features and her delicate chin and I reach out impulsively and stroke her silky cheek with my index finger. As usual, I feel a small pang of regret of having to part with her soon, but quickly chase it away. I can't allow myself such sentimentality - it's a slippery slope for an artist.

Making a wig is a messy work. The glue ends up all over my hands and the doll's head, but the upside is that I don't have to use any protective surfaces for the doll because glue, no matter how sticky, can not damage a china-painted, porcelain surface. I just scrape it off the face with my metal carving tools once the wig is done and that's the end of clean up.

My wigging system requires that for the best quality wig, I spend about half an hour holding the strands down in strategic places while the glue sets. This frees up my mind and leaves me with plenty of time to think while both my hands are busy. I get comfortable in my Thinking leather arm chair accented with brass studs, put my feet up on the matching ottoman and with Ruby on my lap, and with her little head in my hands I return to my recurring, unsolvable dilemmas.......Minimalism vs Excess.

Moderation seems to be the right answer to a lot of things, but not a day goes by without a struggle with my ambivalence towards being an artist who makes objects, thus contributing to consumerism. When I create another doll, I always feel a little guilty of adding more physical clutter into our clutter-filled world. I keep trying to rationalize it by telling myself that the need to create things is a part of human nature. We've been crafting stuff with our hands, attributing great value to physical objects  and hoarding them since the dawn of evolution. It's been the way of things ever since we grew a big brain and two opposable thumbs.

But with the coming of industrial revolution and modernization of manual labor, our relationship to our valued possession and objects has changed. They became simple to mass produce, readily available and easily disposable and replaceable. A lot of those object make our life easy and enjoyable. I for example, don't remember how to live without a microwave and I don't have to spend most of my energy on basic survival. I am largely freed from domesticity and can dedicate my life mostly to the pursuits of creative and intellectual fulfillment and pleasure. And here I am, creating and crafting objects for that fulfillment. Why?

I despise clutter. I despise gift shops with cheap trinkets and pointless nicknacks. I can't stand hoarding and never own more than one functional bag (not a purse) at a time. Who cares whether it matches my shoes or not? That's not what happiness is, no matter what those shallow broads on Sex and the City are trying to sell me. I wonder how many girls that show has simultaneously, liberated, emancipated and damaged?

 But strangely enough, I love watching it. Like a car wreck, I suppose. For the record-I hate Carrie.

When the glue in the wig is set, I leave it for several more hours and then wash and brush the hair. I put it back on Ruby while it's still wet and watch droplets of water run down her forehead as I take this snapshot. She is lovely and I feel another pang of regret.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love possessions. I love comfort and beauty of interior design and I love some expensive things. But I absolutely don't own what I don't need. Having said this, I believe that one can not use moderation when it comes to art. Art must be what it must be, and I love extravagant art. My constant dilemma with who I am is whether I'm contributing to the problem of rampant, pointless consumerism, or if I'm somehow adding to the beauty of the world with what I create. Perhaps I'm doing both and I can't help myself. I can't stop doing what I do because I'm in love with the process of creation.

But If I must make things with my hands, if I can't live any other way, then I must make them in a meaningful way. The universe is a fantastic creation that appeared out of the void. If I'm going to add objects to that universe, then I have  an obligation to honor it with my creations, not clutter it with thoughtless, meaningless, cheap, disposable and forgettable trash. The objects I make, must be more than things-they must become meaningful experiences for people. That's the only way to justify our possessions. My dolls must enhance the quality of life in some small measure in order to validate their existence. And I vow to do that.

Ruby is complete.

Reminder, this Ruby will be put on eBay on November 25th

The Birth of Ruby - Assembly

I'm on the home stretch with Ruby. The glue in the leather lining will begin to enter its maximum strength stage in 12 hours and while it's setting I lay out the parts neatly on the tray and begin to measure out pins and connect the springs in the required configuration. I have my formula down and I follow it.

Assembly itself is not the most interesting part of the doll-making process, but the fact that it's shortest and the last stage of it, makes it very exciting. It's a culmination of all the work that has gone into the project, when everything is literally pulled together. For days the doll exists only in my mind's eye and in small bits of porcelain. But when I begin to assemble those parts, then the vision becomes a reality.

At the end of each assembly I can't help but feel a slight awe at the fact that only a few days ago this creature did not exist at all now it's here, and I'm its maker.

I've been brought up to be a humble person. My parents have taught my sisters and I that a person should be a good human being first, and everything else later. I try to live by it and not let my pride get the best of me most of the time. After all, no matter how good you are at something, there is always some one who is better than you. But at the moment of assembly I allow myself a moment of glee and triumph: 'Damn, I'm good!'-I think to myself:' I made this out of nothing!'

I let those feelings wash over me for a few moments, then gently move them aside and begin to think of ways to improve myself: my concepts, my techniques, my work ethic and my general performance as a human being. We have to be so many things in our lives, and I'm all too aware of how one aspect of you can evolve at the expense of others. It's hard to keep all parts of you in a semblance of a balance, in fact, it's almost impossible. The law of Relativity. Sadly, we are governed by the laws of physics. Even art.

I like to celebrate the assembly of each doll in my own small ways. Sometimes I go to sleep while other times I watch a movie. The actual celebration happens inside my head with the sense of accomplishment and a fleeting, temporary peace, only to be broken again a short time later with the thoughts of making another, better doll.

The Birth of Ruby - China paint

Painting a doll is hands down the most rewarding part of the doll-making process.

As usual, I set up my painting surface with a mixture of anticipation and nervousness, knowing that even after countless faces and lots of practice it's still all too easy to fail at creating a beautiful face. In fact, I believe I'm still in need of a whole lifetime of practice. Painting a porcelain doll takes several days because China paint is transparent and the depth of colour must be built up in layers with a firing between each layer.

While the mouth is the most sensual, the eyes are the most expressive and therefore, the most important part of the face. They are a window to the soul. To create a living face, one must not paint the eyes, but the soul of the doll. To some extent, the artist paints fragments of their own soul looking through the eyes of their subjects.

I pause in my brushwork, one of my tiny brushes balanced in my fingers while the other in my mouth, and stare unseeing into the space right in front of me, pondering what in means in the context of my work. It's been noted by countless observes that most, if not all of my dolls have sad eyes. Just about every single media interview i've done up to now features the question about that. 'What does that say about who I am?', I ask of myself, 'and is there a deep-seated, subconscious sadness in me, straining to escape through my doll's eyes?' If there is, then I don't feel it.

Layer 2

.I shake off my thoughts and go back to painting, just to return to them only moments later. I'm in a philosophical mood today. My gaze wonders to the original Ruby doll sitting in front of me as my model and my mind drifts. 'Does she really look sad?', I ask no one in particular, straining to see sadness.....nothing. 'She's just not that sad to me.'-I conclude for a millionth time and reach out to pick up more paint from my pallet with the tip of my brush.

Layer 3

I believe that all those universally preconceived notions of artists being an emotional, sentimental mess of feelings are kind of insulting. It implies that creative people are not in control of themselves. Art may be art, but at the end of the day it is also a job. It has to be done well.'

I suppose that there are some subconscious driving forces behind my doll's seemingly consistent sad eyes, which are too internalized for me to comprehend, but there is also a very calculated reason for that.'- I repeat to myself and to my imaginary listener: 'It's a deliberate strategy, a manipulation in a sense, to elicit the strongest emotional responses in my audience and to steer their perception in the direction I want it to go. My personal emotional state has very little to do with it.'

Layer 5

Somewhere between layers two and four I decide that this particular Ruby needs freckles to enhance her face. I've never tried freckles on a Ruby before and didn't know how that would work out for me. Tight deadlines are usually not a good time for experimentation as things are quite likely to go sideways, consuming precious time, but limited work time may actually add a strange sense of completion to a project as well. I'm pleased with Ruby's new Lucy Liu freckles.

I also put some extra highlights in her pupils to see if it will give her eye a new dimension or capture any other emotions not present in the other Rubys. Perhaps there is a little trace of sadness in them. Like they say: eye of the beholder.

I believe that we are defined by what we do, and what we do is defined by who we are, but it's impossible to say where one ends and the other begins. How far does my identity define my work, and at what point does my work begin to define me and the choices I make?

But more importantly, are my doll's eyes indeed sad?

The Birth of Ruby - Kiln trouble

An FTL error message flashes on the display of my kiln at the end of an extraordinary long firing, confirming my growing certainty that the heating elements are burned out and require immediate replacement. Although I've been anticipating the elements to fail any day now and ordered replacement parts early, I'm still annoyed at having to deal with it right this minute, particularly because it will delay Ruby's bisque firing.

After a day of procrastination and another 11 hours of cleaning she is finally smooth and perfect enough to fire to maturity, but that will have to wait. Normally I would use my alternate kiln in this situation, but that needs repairs as well. I don't think I'm going to make that house warming party after all - both of my kilns need to be taken apart.

I walk over to the tool closet to get my Ohm meter and measure the resistance in the elements, then change my mind: there is no point - I already know the are quite toast.

When my work surface is set up, I open up the control box to disconnect the wires, change the element connectors and then stick my arms into the kiln to carefully pull out its burned, brittle insides and replace them with brand new ones. My arms sting from the skin irritation and scratches caused by the contact with the fire brick, but having done it many times, the operation itself no longer bothers me like it did the first time I had to take my kilns apart. I was rather scared and nervous of not being able to put them back together again. 

In fact, I was so frustrated with it, that I even briefly considered just getting a new kiln every time the elements wore down, just to avoid the replacement procedure once every few months. How silly of me. But I got the hang of it and now it doesn't seem like such a big deal anymore.

A wire slips and cuts my hand just above the wrist. This is the 4th time. I curse under my breath, unable to stop what I'm doing. It will have to wait a bit. Sadly, superficial injuries are a part of the process. A kiln is worse than an angry cat sometimes..

I've only recently become aware that almost every stage of my work, perhaps with the exception of bead embroidery, ends with applying a moisturizer to my hands. It's not really that surprising, as creation is usually a messy, skin irritating process, but what's weird is that I never noticed this habit until I began to verbalize and externalize my creative process in writing, and suddenly the pattern came to my attention.

Today is no different either, only this time I need some Band-Aids as well.

Attention: Ruby is back on schedule now and will go up on the ebay auction November 25th.

The Birth of Ruby- Greenware Cleaning

Soft-fired doll parts have been laid out in front of me for quite some time now and my desk is all set up for cleaning.

Water bucket - check, sanding sponges - check, an assortment of various tools - also check. Still, I sit there, eyeing the parts through squinted eyes like they are my mortal enemies, challenging them to either get the hell out of my sight or clean themselves for once. I catch myself sighing with resignation for the fourth time as I anticipate the mind-numbing repetitiveness and inevitable length of the upcoming cleaning session, pick up a tiny hand and place it in the hot water. I procrastinate some more by watching a stream of air-bubbles emerge from it as sinks and think of how I always start with a hand for some reason. What a creature of habit.

This is the one stage of the doll-making process I really don't ever look forward to. It's difficult, draining and worst of all, boring. This is the only stage I would eliminate if I could, and nothing else, but, it's also the main reason why Enchanted Dolls have such a glowing, silky complexion, so I have to work myself up to it almost every single time. As usual, every cell in my body whines at me about not wanting to do this, and there are times when my discipline disintegrates during a particularly nasty case of Aversiontoworkanitis.'

Perhaps I should check my email real quick before I start on these parts,' I think to myself: 'And then it's probably a good idea to get a snack. I do feel a little tired. I know it's only one past noon, but, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for just a few minutes to get refreshed, or even catch an episode of Dexter....yea, that's what I'll do and then, and then I'll totally start working right away.'

I steal a sly look at the doll parts on the desk, as if I had just outsmarted them, and make my way straight to the bedroom, deciding to skip the email and the snack after all, knowing deep down that I ain't working today no more

.Tomorrow I will, no doubt regret this self-indulgence and will have to play catch up, but tomorrow is tomorrow. Today I need a nap.

The birth of Ruby - The fire

The rhythmic clicks of relay switches worm their way into my subconsciousness as I stare distractedly through the rain, into the yellow wetness of the trees, pliers in my hand. A glistening Maple leaf sticks momentarily to the wet glass like a little fire beacon, before being carried away again. I follow its flight trajectory with my eyes until it's gone, mentally counting the frequency of clicks behind me; one, pause, two, pause, three, pause..., then, reluctantly tear myself away from the hypnotic rain patter outside and turn my head towards the clicking machine.

Red numbers flash on the digital display, continuously updating me with the current conditions inside its chamber. Casually, and mostly out of habit I scan the updates and then dismiss them from my mind, returning my attention to the work at hand and my liquid thoughts.

At art school I absolutely hated kilns and never wanted to own one, because our ceramics department had only manual kilns that needed constant attention. The temperature required to be manually increased every 2 or so hours, and someone from the class had to hang around campus all day just to do that. I loathed the awful inconvenience of it.... but to be fair, I wasn't really motivated by the curriculum or my own work enough to be bothered with the whole kiln attendance thing. I swear, I spent most of my art school experience resenting everything and being constantly annoyed. I didn't really appreciate how far my education would take me in the long run. I especially hated ceramics classes and their manual kilns.

Turning again to look appreciatively at my clicking, blinking digital kilns in the dark corner of the studio, I wonder with slight bewilderment how I got to this point in my life. Not just owning the once hated kilns, but also the whole deal of being an artist. If someone had told me back then what would be, I would have laughed in their face with disdain. Disillusioned and confused by art education,

 I really didn't see any art future for myself, and wondered desperately what I would do with my life, my impractical art degree and my seemingly pointless skills after graduation.

It suddenly occurs to me how very much like microwaves my digital kilns are: load the parts, close the lid, program firing sequence into the computer and press start, only instead of a lunch, you get a doll. Well, maybe it's not quite that simple...but the thought amuses me as I work.

Ruby is firing. Hours go by, the studio gets darker, relays click away with reassuring regularity, fading in and out of my subconsciousness and measuring the passing of the gloomy afternoon in their electronic way; one, pause, two, pause, three, pause....   Then, replaced by random thoughts, they fade from my mind again.

The Birth of Ruby - Casting

This isn't a tutorial, just a loose documentation of the process that every porcelain Enchanted Doll undergoes to become truly enchanted. And porcelain. Through a stream of consciousness I'll try to explain the way the process makes me feel when I'm engaged in it, in hopes that it will convey the mental state behind the work.Casting is pretty technical, but still the easiest part of the process. Most of the session is executed through pure muscle memory: my motions are rehearsed, mechanical, fluid and efficient. It's like meditation: all problems and mental anxieties are deliberately moved aside, my mind is almost at rest, calm, collected, relaxed, yet acutely self aware, while my hands are executing a delicate dance of the molds and the scalpel.

I hardly even think about what my movements are any more; I know exactly what I'm doing and my hands lead they way. Focusing on my work causes a simultaneous detachment from it. The trance. Knowing how to cast porcelain slip is a small achievement in life, but knowing it gives me the ability to manipulate this medium into the forms of my desire. I feel in control, in my element. Everything goes according to plan, my plan.

By now I'm so attuned to the process, that any irregularity which may signal trouble is felt instinctively through subtle changes in its mechanics, such as small fluctuations in the weight of the molds, the handling of the slip, the particular way in which the scalpel slices through wet porcelain. All of these little things talk to me and I understand the language of the medium and respond to its needs accordingly, almost entirely on autopilot. When I feel myself curiously detached from what I'm doing, I know I've gone into the Flow-and the Flow is the nirvana of work, a higher state of being.

Taking out the parts is just as automated as casting, but the head, and more so the hands, require I switch off the autopilot and put my mind back in manual. Separating the fingers is a delicate and tricky work that produces different results every time. The face requires post casting touch ups as well and demands full concentration.

Cleaning up is a ritual that puts a physical and symbolic closure to each casting session. The clean up is as rehearsed and automatic as the casting, but as I methodically wash my desk and my tools and my hands, my mind is refreshed and my thought process is restructured as I emerge out of the casting-induced trance.

The last thing I do is rub some lotion on my hands to counter the dehydrating effects of porcelain slip, and as I do that, I can feel my constant companions, the daily anxieties of an artist return to me.

The long road to Sulamith Wulfing

This is just a little something from my doll closet. It's Sapphire wearing an extra casting of the two-horned helmet. Did I mention that this helmet was inspired by my beloved artist Sulamith Wulfing?

This one appears to be one of her earlier drawings from when she was only 27 years old, practically the same age as me. I'm 28.I've always loved this particular drawing not just for its haunting beauty, but because it contains the stylistic characteristics of both her earlier, as well as her later work; it captures the gradual transition between styles, like a still frame of her creative process and represents a moment in time when   Sulamith's distict and unique style was beginning to truly establish and solidify itself into its mature form.

I value this little drawing because it's like a nostalgic, Polaroid snap shot of Sulamith's Wulfing search for her creative identity and her own creative language of symbols with which to express her fantastical inner world.

One day I hope to make a spiritual pilgrimage to her home in Germany, to experience for myself the place where she had lived, worked and died, and to be close to her original paintings, which are still hanging on the walls of her house. I hope that I may see the original of this drawing as well.

I still have to find out where exactly her home is located. All I know is that it's in the Eilberfeld disctict of Wuppertal, on the slope above river Gelpe. Her address is not exactly advertised. Google Maps tells me that there is a street named Sulamith-Wulfing Strasse in the city, but I'm not sure if that's in the same place as her home.  If I can't find it, then I'm fully prepared to just go to Wuppertal and wonder around town asking strangers if they know where Sulamith Wulfing's house is. I'm sure I'll get a lead eventually.

Perhaps one among you, my dear readers, may have visited the house of this amazing aritst and knows where and how it can be visited? I would appreciate any help in finding my way to Sulamith Wulfing-the source of my inspiration.

My New Toys!

Aren't they beautiful?I've coveted an airbrush for years, but was always intimidated by the sheer coolness and sleekness of this little high-tech tool.I love tools because they provide my hands and imagination with a vehicle for expressing my ideas and realizing my dreams. I never hesitate to purchase equipment which will increase the efficiency and quality of my work, because I consider it a worthy investment in my career. So, understandably, I've become a bit of a tool junkie.The only reason I didn't already own an airbrush, despite wanting it for years, is because I couldn't justify the spending of significant funds, nor the time commitment it would require, on a tool that didn't really have a practical use in my doll-making methods. No matter how much I wanted it to, an airbrush just wasn't suited for my application and I really had no interest in using it for anything but dolls.Well, all that changed when resin Enchanted Dolls came into the picture and brought a necessity to expand my painting methods and techniques. Now, an airbrush is no longer an expensive novelty, but a necessary and a valuable tool in achieving my new creative goals. At least that's my hope. I hope it's everything it want it to be, because that neat little set up over there, cost me almost as much as one of my ceramic kilns. I've never actually tried airbrushing and don't even know if I'll like it.Yep, I may have just wasted a bunch of valuable resources, but it won't be the first nor the last time I do that in pursuit of a vision. I'm sure I'll get the hang of it as I go....and if I fail.....oh well....life's full of risks.After all, what are the options - not trying?

Me, working....

Chad shot a series of photos of me finishing the first prototypes of the resin parts. It was very different, new process to me as I was familiarizing myself with the new medium. It's not very rational, but somehow I felt overcome by guilt over working with resin, as if I was cheating on porcelain.  And as I worked, I kept gazing over at my kilns and my porcelain cleaning tools with longing and tenderness, anticipating the moment when i could start another porcelain doll.At one point I caught myself nostalgically recalling all the endless, mentally straining and incredibly repetitive cleaning sessions of porcelain parts, and those memories were all in slow motion, with soft focus glow and a romantic soundtrack in the background. The very things I hate the most about porcelain process, seemed attractive and pleasant just because they were old, familiar and comfortable friends to me. I'm such a creature of habit. I realized that I was suffering a little bit of separation anxiety and some nervousness in the face of a new creative adventure.I did a lot of drilling to expand the inside cavities for springs and even some seam line sanding, even though parts came mostly finished. Porcelain, when sanded in proper set up doesn't create any dust, nor should it ever be allowed to create dust because it will give you lung cancer. This was different with resin, as these resin parts created a lot of toxic dust, which really freaked me out a lot. Today I ordered a special, industrial dust extraction system for work with resin as well as other sanding and drilling applications. I've wanted to have one installed for 3 years now for my jewelry work, and I finally ran out of excuses to not do it. Our health is our most valuable commodity, and a few thousand dollars is a cheap price to pay for not getting lung cancer. So, today I'm happy for my lungs.I never take safety regulations for granted anymore and always observe work safe rules, even it seems excessive at times.  Accidents happen when you're sloppy, distracted or when you're too confident in your abilities and think you're above mistakes. I've been all of the above at one point or a another, and luckily, suffered only minor injuries and learned to be my own rigorous safety technician. I want to keep all my eyes and fingers intact for as long as I can, to make the most beautiful dolls the world has ever seen. My health is my most valuable commodity.These are all the process pictures for now. I will be doing more documentation of the resin line, so, stay tuned.

And the big news is.....THE RESIN LINE!

That's right. It's official. Enchanted Dolls will soon be also available in fine resin.Let me introduce to you the very first Resin ED prototype. Her name is Kay. Her face was painted after my porcelain Cinderella for practice. I wanted to see how close I can get to porcelain Enchanted Dolls in terms of painting style and technique. I think fairly close.Oh what a journey it has been! The minute I came back from a show in Germany in the fall, I began following on leads for resin manufactures until I found the manufacturer of my dreams who GETS ME. Really, really gets me; My minute perfectionism, my high demands for my dolls, the vision of what I want to create. Together we have big plans for this resin ED line. Sorry I've been keeping a tight lid on this secret. I've been wanting to announce this amazing news for weeks, but having been burned by manufacturers before, I didn't want to jinx it. And now finally I have physical evidence and results to show how amazing this line is turning out!Resin doll Kay, painted with watercolor pencils, liquitex acrylic paints, synthetic glazes and a UV resistant varnish sealant.The resin EDs are copies of my porcelain dolls with some improvements. They are the same size of 13.5"( 36cm), but they have 3 different pairs of hands with various levels of finger expressiveness. Also, all the joints have been altered for a tight fit to improve the body lines and recalibrated for a non-leather-lined traction. So far, 5 different head molds are available, but I plan to make more soon. I am also planning to create a raised foot, self -customizing option for a heeled shoe. But that's in the future.These are my first impressions of my very first experience with resin.The resin parts themselves by far exceeded my expectations. They are incredible quality. They are very tough and a little flexible, so that even their tiny fingers can take a tremendous amount of abuse! My porcelain dolls are very strong but a bit brittle, while resin dolls are strong and also durable and don't require gentle handling at all. The resin has a UV retardant mixed in. They are silky smooth and pick up every nuance of my porcelain dolls' skin surface. There are some dramatic differences in how resin and porcelain each 'take' and retain the surface paint, both aesthetically and technically: China paint on porcelain being hard, permanent and absolutely non-removable through human means, while Acrylic and whatercolor on resin being soft and removable with solvents and abrasive materials.That's the main contradiction I'm facing with porcelain and resin dolls: while porcelain requires gentle handling and full awareness of the doll because though very strong, it is brittle and vulnerable to medium velocity impact, its surface is completely impervious to scratches, UV, dirt or paint damage. Resin dolls on the other hand are a lot more durable and can easily survive a medium velocity impact and all kinds of very rough play and probably even small children, but their acrylic-based surface paint is not molecularly bonded to resin the way China paint is to Porcelain, and so one has to be aware of not accidentally removing paint through careless abrasive surface contact. Although touching it and gently wiping/washing it with wet cloth is quite safe because it's sealed with varnish. I've tested it.So, gentle handling is still advised, but not because of the doll itself, but for the sake of the paint.Even though I'm not very pleased about this impermanence, I understand that this is the primary characteristic of resin which is common to all resin dolls, ball-jointed or not, and despite this, it still makes up for this minor shortcoming with its other amazing characteristics, such as incredible strength and customizing versatility.This is Clymenestra. She is partially painted. Her face, hands and feet are painted, while her body is left blank. She has downcast eyes and an option for real eyelashes. Testing out different looks. I think this one is a Greek goodess.The articulation of my resin Enchanted Dolls is the same as my porcelain dolls.  All the joints were altered to improve a movement range and after testing all kinds of stinging up methods and playing with elastics, I realized why I developed a steel spring articulation to begin with: it's because elastics absolutely SUCK compared to carbon springs. They suck. Sucky-sucky-suck-suck.That's why I had decided to keep my complex, signature steel articulation style in my resin dolls too. It's takes a long time to do, but it's so worth it. The registration of the joints is very good due to the spring tension, even though most joints are not lined with leather and are very smooth inside. I lined only two parts with fine leather: the chest joint and the neck joint. The rest is resin on resin contact and due to isolated-joint stringing system, the registration is still remarkable. I love springs.My first painting attempt 3 days ago was a spectacular failure. I naturally assumed I can do anything, :) and when I couldn't create my beloved misty blushing effect with acrylic paints on resin, I was so upset I almost lost it. I kept trying to do it and resin just kept "grabbing" the paint half a second after I applied it and I couldn't do any blending to it. Acrylic dries really fast, but not this fast. I was shocked and frustrated at seeing this new characteristic of acrylic on resin, nearly to tears. I kept failing and wiping it off and starting again and failing again and thinking: "This can't be! How can this be?! I know acrylic like the palm of my hand. How can I be failing at something I know? I went to art school for five years, damn it!!" Well,  Acrylic is impossible to mist without an airbrush, it turns out. It's something I didn't know because I've always painted a wet on wet acrylic, which blends just fine. While wet on dry is pretty impossible. I plan to buy an air brush for large area blushing, but meanwhile I used whatercolor to create the misty blush on her face and body. The look it creates on the skin is similar to that of china paint, but that's as far as similarities go.Chad said this was because I got a bit too arrogant since I haven't failed for a while. I should say without false modesty that most of my attempts end up in success. This was a huge reality check to my ego.In most ways painting a resin doll is way easier than painting a porcelain doll because it doesn't require specialty tools, specialty paint, an extremely steady hand or a highfire kiln to bond the color to porcelain and that means anyone can do it with readily available art supplies. Like anything else, it does require practice and I, unaccustomed to the new technique characteristics, was struggling for control of my tones, lines and blushing. I was a novice. About 36 hours into my attempts I began to figure it out though. I couldn't sleep until I did.I still think that China paint allows for a far more control, especially on a miniature scale like my dolls' faces and hands, not to mention the whole permanence thing. In fact, getting to know the beauty of resin gave me a whole new appreciation for how amazing porcelain really is. I think I just missed it after not working with it for a few days! It remains my first, high maintenance love, while resin is my new mistress. :)Resin dolls can balance a lot better without a stand than my porcelain dolls. I don't have stands made for these yet, but I'm working on it. Wigs, custom boxes and stands is my next project for my resin line. I am so excited about the new boxes! I think you guys will be too when you see the sample. It's something very special.These are my first four resin prototypes. I haven't had time to paint the other two yet, but perhaps next week I might. I'm still working on developing this line and can't say exactly when I will begin taking orders for these. Hopefully this spring I will be able to take the first batch of 20 orders or so. I will honor my wait list and give the people who've waited the longest the opportunity to order first. I'm still working out the prices, but because they are quite expensive to manufacture, high quality dolls they will retail for around $1500 CND -$2,000 CND. I'm still working it out.I'm also considering offering the option of a limited number of blank dolls to artsy people who like customizing their own dolls. I frequently get requests for blank dolls and with porcelain it is absolutely out of question, but with resin it's possible but I am undecided. On one hand I am really eager to see how others would interpret painting of my dolls, on the other hand, I am a bit protective of them. Perhaps you guys  could offer some insight on that. Is this something you would like?Well, I hope this was worth the wait. Whoever is interested in purchasing one of these dolls, please email me as I'm making a resin nude doll wait list.Eventually I plan to create limited resin costumed lines too, as well as accessories, but that's in the future. One step at a time.It looks like my announcement coincides with the premiere of the last season of Lost. Got to go watch it. Hopefully it won't be a huge disappointment like the last two seasons.New Season of Lost and Resin Enchaned Dolls!? Wooo!

The coffin pillar wax injections turned out!

They didn't really come out of the mold in one piece, but my complicated models rarely do, so it's business as usual. The waxes require extensive touch ups for casting, but that is always the case with my stuff because of the sheer size. The most important part is that there is no warping of the general form of the pillar, as that was the biggest concern. I am quite relieved now as this  was the most complicated part of the entire coffin project. But who knows, I might come up with something even more complicated to make tomorrow. I'm weird like that.It's almost a little bit masochistic: I don't seem to like a quiet, peaceful, trouble-free existence. I always need to deal with some sort of a problem to feel like my life has meaning. I think I inherited this trait from my parents who are pretty adventurous, cooky couple that also can't seem to live a simple, uncomplicated life. Like my mom and dad like to say: "First we create our problems, and then we heroically resolve them!"Unfortunately I won't have this pillar in time for the opening of the Dragonspace show as my casting techs are too booked up with Olympics coming up, but perhaps half way through I might be able to sneak it in. Don't know yet.Lolita's outfit is finally going up on Ebay auction on February 21st. It took me a long time to bring myself to part with it. Seriously, this time it's for realz y'all.ATTENTION CONTEST PARTICIPANTS: Mailing deadline has been extended to March 13th. And that big news I mentioned earlier is still coming up!

Progress on the wax model

So, after all that hard work trying to guess the purpose of this object, I suppose I should tell you what it is already. All the guesses, with the exception of a pony, were pretty accurate and relevant.It was kind of a trick question though, because I designed this piece with multiple functions in mind and can make it into many things that were called: it can be a fancy stool or an armchair leg, a throne pillar or a bench, a stand for a doll case, a column for a doorway arch or a frame for a Gothic window, a post for a canopy bed and a mirror frame....heck, I'm pretty sure I can even make it into a pony.  I declare everyone a winner!However, the guess about it being a "fancy grave statue/ funeral monument", was closer to the primary function of this piece than the rest.You see, I'm making a new coffin for a new Snow White doll! I'm aiming for a very Gothic aesthetic, with lots of spires and ornamental bronze framework, embellishing and encasing a glass chamber. If it works the way I envision it, it will be spectacular.  A worthy vessel for an Enchanted Doll. This one pillar is just the beginning of the project. I will try to finish the legs to have it displayed in my Vancouver show, but I don't know if everything will work out as planned. Tomorrow I will find out if molding and wax injections have worked out. If they haven't, well, that's very bad.The longing to make a much more beautiful glass coffin has been tugging at me ever since I finished the first one in 2006 and realized I could do much better. During my trips to Europe, I visited countless cathedrals and always go down to their underground treasuries and tombs for research. The things that I love to admire the most  are exquisite glass and precious metal, holy relic holders. They are truly spectacular and intricate little things that heavily inspire this coffin project. These are just some of the relic holders I've come across and by far not the craziest ones. I believe they are from Florence.Although these are incredible, my favorite relic holders are those done in a Gothic architectural style, with tiny spires and windows and aches made to  look like they are miniature cathedrals themselves. Like these:This is kind of what I dream of making.I find Gothic architecture to be crazy beautiful and ultimately want to have a glass coffin that resembles it and could belong in an ancient treasury, along with other precious relics. Except instead of some dead guy's dry bones or shriveled up internal organs or something equally gross, there will be a beautiful, porcelain doll sleeping inside.My plan is to have it completed by my Berlin solo show. I hope to succeed.

I'm Making Something Cool

This...Can you guess what it is?Since a lot of people seem to like seeing progress shots, I've documented making this wax model. Enjoy.1) A block of jeweler's wax is cut in two with a jeweler's saw. I have a loose design in mind at this point. Still working it out in my head.2) The block is carefully measured out into to different sections as the design is decided on. I am now committed to this way of action. The rudimentary design is sawed out with a jewelr's blade and then filed down to a smoother texture and more precise lines.3) Sawing and filing modeling wax creates a lot of fine dust and chips. Within moments a clean surface can be transformed into a messy one. I have to clean it every few minutes to maintain a comfortable and clean working environment.4) The model used to be the other half of the wax block. I'm terrible with straight lines, mathematical precision and symmetry. Terrible. Organic lines are a lot easier to achieve for me than something perfectly geometrical. I'm also impatient and can't stand the meticulous drawing out of models on paper. They turn out to be pretty sloppy because most of my calculations are done in freehand mode, right on the final piece. In other words-I make it up as I go along. Perhaps that's a bad practice.5) Grooves are made in each of the four sides of the piece for decorative filling. My wrist is rather tired at this point from pushing my rough carving tools. It's not time yet for my precision jeweler's gadgets, but even then a lot of pressure is required to carve this hard wax with tiny scrapers and files.6) Beginnings of a rudimentary design on the first panel. My favorite method of sculpture is a simultaneous subtraction and addition of mass. I carve some away and I add some back with my heating wax pen. My wax pen is one of my most invaluable tools. Ever. I feel intimately connected to it, as if it's an extension of my fingers.7) This is a piece in an advanced stages of modeling. At this point i've put about 40 hours of wrist-breaking labor in it. And that doesn't count the hours I spent thinking about it prior to starting. Despite all that thinking, I still don't usually know exactly what I making, until I'm making it. I love Flow.8 ) Identical design on the second panel. Not sure yet what will happen to the rest of it. I'm in a big hurry and racing through this....one tedious millimeter at a time... It's been 3 days of non stop work and I hope to have the whole thing completed in another 3.  I should be fine if my arms don't kill me first. And don't even get me started on my fingers. To be continued.....Well, have you guessed what I'm making yet?