I'm on the home stretch with Ruby. The glue in the leather lining will begin to enter its maximum strength stage in 12 hours and while it's setting I lay out the parts neatly on the tray and begin to measure out pins and connect the springs in the required configuration. I have my formula down and I follow it.
Assembly itself is not the most interesting part of the doll-making process, but the fact that it's shortest and the last stage of it, makes it very exciting. It's a culmination of all the work that has gone into the project, when everything is literally pulled together. For days the doll exists only in my mind's eye and in small bits of porcelain. But when I begin to assemble those parts, then the vision becomes a reality.
At the end of each assembly I can't help but feel a slight awe at the fact that only a few days ago this creature did not exist at all now it's here, and I'm its maker.
I've been brought up to be a humble person. My parents have taught my sisters and I that a person should be a good human being first, and everything else later. I try to live by it and not let my pride get the best of me most of the time. After all, no matter how good you are at something, there is always some one who is better than you. But at the moment of assembly I allow myself a moment of glee and triumph: 'Damn, I'm good!'-I think to myself:' I made this out of nothing!'
I let those feelings wash over me for a few moments, then gently move them aside and begin to think of ways to improve myself: my concepts, my techniques, my work ethic and my general performance as a human being. We have to be so many things in our lives, and I'm all too aware of how one aspect of you can evolve at the expense of others. It's hard to keep all parts of you in a semblance of a balance, in fact, it's almost impossible. The law of Relativity. Sadly, we are governed by the laws of physics. Even art.
I like to celebrate the assembly of each doll in my own small ways. Sometimes I go to sleep while other times I watch a movie. The actual celebration happens inside my head with the sense of accomplishment and a fleeting, temporary peace, only to be broken again a short time later with the thoughts of making another, better doll.